Saturday, November 9, 2019
Freedom- what so many people wish for. It was summer of the year 2010, a time when I could finally enjoy myself and be comfortable for who I am. Summer was a time that everyone loved but going back to the year 2008 for me it was a time of darkness. All the girls on the beach showing off their new bikinis and all the boys being shirtless and showing off their looks and then there is meÃ¢â¬ ¦. A girl named Page Duncan aged 15 who have no friends because she weighs 70 kg.In November 2007 it was starting to get hot so all my friends and I decided to go to the beach. As we arrived the temperature was getting hot so everyone decided to put on their bikinis for a swim but I didnÃ¢â¬â¢t feel comfortable because of my body so I chose to wear a one piece. As I got back from the change rooms some of my friends made comments saying Ã¢â¬Å"oh my god youÃ¢â¬â¢re so fatÃ¢â¬ and Ã¢â¬Å" I didnÃ¢â¬â¢t know whales could stay on the sand that longÃ¢â¬ and as they were saying it they all la ughed. When the girls said that to me it made me cry and be really upset so I decided to ring my mum to pick me up. Whilst on the phone with mum she asked me why I wanted to leave so early so I lied to her saying Ã¢â¬Å"I feel sickÃ¢â¬ so she wouldnÃ¢â¬â¢t know.After this day I no longer had friends, I was no longer comfortable with my self, and I was always upset about my body weight. The next day I went to school, as I arrived the whole school laughed at me and again calling me fat. Clearly this was because of yesterday. As the day went I got bullied time after time again. Finally the day ended where I found my self in my room free from all bullying until I went on Facebook. I opened up my message box and received messages saying, Ã¢â¬Å"YouÃ¢â¬â¢re so fatÃ¢â¬ , Ã¢â¬Å"go kill your selfÃ¢â¬ , Ã¢â¬Å"youÃ¢â¬â¢re uglyÃ¢â¬ . When I had read this I found my self in so much pain and anger.Today I donÃ¢â¬â¢t want to go to school so I am going to ask mum if I can stay ho me because I am feeling sick. Mum thank God approved so I locked my self in thenÃ room and started crying. After a while I had soaked in so much anger and decided to cut my self. This felt good and I realised it released my anger so I did it again and again and again. Eventually I stopped because I found myself bleeding that much that I had blood on my blankets that was red as cherry.The next day mum calls me for breakfast but I am not hungry so I replied with Ã¢â¬Å"mum IÃ¢â¬â¢m not hungryÃ¢â¬ . Mum then walks into the room and see the scars on my arm and sees the blood on the blankets and asks me Ã¢â¬Å"honey whatÃ¢â¬â¢s wrong with your arm?Ã¢â¬ so I reply with Ã¢â¬Å"mum itÃ¢â¬â¢s okay I just scratched me armÃ¢â¬ so she replied with a Ã¢â¬Å"oh okay be careful next time and go put a band aid on and also come get breakfastÃ¢â¬ . I chose to stay in my room so I can starve my self so I can have a perfect body.As the days went on I find myself cutting my self more a nd more and also not eating and I love it. I finally am getting happy with my body, as I have lost 20 kg, which means I am now 50 kg.One day in October 2009 mum confronts me because she again notices my scars and notices I have lost weight so she wants to take me to the doctors so we did to find out that there was nothing wrong with me. Mum tells me she is still not satisfied so she decides to take me another doctor but again nothing is wrong.When I got home I decided to cut my self again, whilst doing it I cut a vein all of sudden BOOM I have past outÃ¢â¬ ¦A few minutes later mum walks into my bedroom and finds me passed out with blood everywhere. Mum starts panicking and rings triple zero, she then applies pressure till the ambulance come to slow down the loss of blood. The ambulance finally arrives and takes me to hospital.Page Duncan wakes upÃ¢â¬ ¦ Ã¢â¬Å"Hello there, IÃ¢â¬â¢m your nurse, you nearly died with the amount of blood youÃ lost. You have been unconscious for 2 days. I m also here to tell you that you have been diagnosed with depressionÃ¢â¬ mum then walks into the room and is upset she asks me Ã¢â¬Å"why are you doing thisÃ¢â¬ , mum the reason I am doing this is because I am fat and I have no friends. Ã¢â¬ËMum criesÃ¢â¬â¢ Mum please donÃ¢â¬â¢t be upset and she replies with Ã¢â¬Å" look I am upset about this but thatÃ¢â¬â¢s okay know because I am going to fix thisÃ¢â¬ .When I finally get out of hospital mum decides to have a talk. She says, Ã¢â¬ Look Page back in my day I actually was diagnosed as well but I got through it and so can you. I know this is going to be tough but we are going to get through it. I have arranged an interview with the teacher so that they are aware and can help you, I have got you medicine and also if you are that concerned about your weight you can go on a weight program if youÃ¢â¬â¢re interestÃ¢â¬ okay thanks mum I really appreciate it, I really didnÃ¢â¬â¢t know you experienced this. IÃ¢â¬â¢m sorry.2010 summer came and I am healthy, I am happy, 2 years later at 60kg, confident and now have friends that appreciate for who I am, I can now put a bikini and not be conscious and most in importantly I owe it all to my mum for getting me through this. After all this time I decided to go to the beach and not be scared about what others think and accept that if people want to bully me they are not true friends.In conclusion you do not have to be skinny or good looking to have fun or put on a bikini or be shirtless, itÃ¢â¬â¢s all about appreciating what you have. You donÃ¢â¬â¢t need these things to have freedom. Page Duncan was diagnosed with depression because of what other people thought. She then overcame this with the help of others and now realises that you donÃ¢â¬â¢t have to be skinny or good looking or smart to be free and happy. Her w eight does not longer get the better of her because she knew if they said hurtful things that they werenÃ¢â¬â¢t true friends. The best way to describe is Ã¢â¬Å"if you believe you will achieveÃ¢â¬ .